One day this problem of inappropriate, pressurised and unwanted personal infringement will be a thing of the past.
One day, ‘just banter’ will be an excuse that is never heard. One day no will mean no, being accepted will not be based on having to tolerate unacceptable behaviour.
Unfortunately, that day is a long way off.
Yet again there is information released regarding sexual harassment in all forms in schools. And the problems remain the same. Technology has changed. The route to harrassment has changed, the starting age level has changed. The behaviour, and more particularly the attitude, has remained.
And, as usual, there are two pivotal points that continue to be put forward. The internet, and teachers.
Yes, there is pornography easily accessible on the internet, but that is not the primary cause of this ongoing problem. It doesn’t help, it misrepresents and distorts, but is merely the end result of a pervasive societal attitude.
Yes, teachers do need to be trained in sex education at all ages, starting in primary school, but they cannot be expected to solve the problem. They can demonstrate, propose, explain, but they need to be reinforced outside school.
The problem can be seen every day across a variety of TV channels – The only Way is Essex, Ex on the Beach, Geordie Shore, and so on and so on. The route of ‘banter’ as an excuse can be found in this sort of scripted reality entertainment. If a view of relationships, and the pressure to be accepted, is presented to children in this manner, how can you expect attitudes to be other than a distinct lack of respect for others.
And it bleeds out from there, into a wider acceptance of personal abuse as humour, as entertainment, as ‘I am just being honest’. No. That is bullying.
But, as with pornography, this is not the only area of misguiding. Every time a man – yes it is their fault – sighs, or shrugs, or bemoans a complaint, it reinforces both their prejudice and those that look to them for guidance.
Every adult male has a responsibility to make it clear, in their attitude, utterances and behaviour, that any form of ‘banter’ that degrades, demeans, abuses, segregates, separates, pressurises, is totally unacceptable.
Of course it is all a matter of degree. Swapping teasing comments among adults who are aware of their content, level of seriousness, and where the limit is before emotional injury occurs is one thing.
But there has to be an awareness that how it appears to children who do not yet make those calculations is very different from what is intended. And an innocent example can produce a devastating result when copied.
We are responsible, and it is time to accept it.
cherokoffdotcom 