I Just Don’t Know

‘Tis the season to be jolly, I know. And usually, amidst my standard humbug, I do manage to show a little winter cheer around this time of year.

But it is hard, and getting harder. I will certainly be glad to see the backside of this year disappearing into the distance.

Over the course of the last 350+ days, the world has become a significantly less good place – how’s that for positive spin?

Innocence, innocents, decency, have all been casualties in a veritable cornucopia of local, national and international shite-fests.

Nations and religions have been used as blunt bludgeons to beat back progress, enlightenment, decency. Blame has been scattered indiscriminately at any easy target, as long as it creates a big enough noise to hide the truth.

That those in power, those that control the ebb and flow, really don’t like change. After all, how can you manage and control and retain influence if social norms keep evolving.

And if that means that the vulnerable, the weak, the good, the decent, the anonymous suffer and struggle in groups or as a whole, well it’s worth the sacrifice.

Hail the status quo. Or the status quo of 50 years ago, or 100 years ago. Whichever is cosier, and rosier, and farther away from who we are today.

And the multinationals march on, supporting, ignoring, exploiting, whichever suits the bottom line.

And even the individuals, the ones that add to the positive, to the brightness, have been disappearing. Far too many bright lights went out this year.

It was suggested to me that this is all part of the natural re-ordering. That there is a finite amount of energy in the world, and room needs to be made for the next generation of shining lights.

If that is so, why so many good lights? Why not a few of the less good, just to add some balance?

I count my blessings. I have a son of infinite joy. A family that always looks for the best in the world.

I have an adopted family which gives warmth and humanity to my life. And a slowly growing group of friends who bring new and rewarding tangents to the grump that is me.

So I try, and will continue to try, to look up and forward, and search for the glow in gloom.

But it is hard. Really hard.

All the bright lights, keep shining!