Hey Guys, there is still so far to go

This is aimed primarily at the, roughly, half of the population who don’t worry about their safety every time they step outside the front door. Or meet someone new. Or meet someone for the second or third time.

Or look at their friends, and partners, and amidst the closeness and love are wondering when the switch will be flipped and the anger and violence will emerge.

As someone who was raised predominantly by a woman, and who feels more comfortable in their company – lack of a need to compete is always a good place to be – I have listened over many years to a growing litany of fear.

For all the expansion of equality in so many areas of our life, there remains one constant – men are a potential threat to women.

In most circumstances it is not intentional. And I am sad to admit that over the years I have been as guilty as the rest of raising my voice, of gesturing, of moving and standing in ways that never occurred to me to be threatening.

But they were.

And each time a man says that they would never hurt a woman, it denies the fact that society has not progressed from the state of man’s voice should be heard above a woman’s. Aggression is still an acceptable form of discourse, and means no harm.

Even with my background of female nurturing, it is all too easy to absorb society’s traits, and hard to dispose of them.

And for every step men, as a whole, take towards acknowledging and amending their behaviour, and attitudes, a judge throws a misogynistic spanner in the works.

She was intelligent and had friends, and so the abusive husband is less culpable. Really?

A victim of female genital mutilation can be asked by a Health Minister if she can still have an orgasm. Really?

Accept that the threat, or the fear of a threat, is not the fault of women.

Accept that aggression, towards anyone, verbally or physically, only establishes it as a norm to be copied.

Accept that we still, as half of the human race, have a long way to go to understand the impact our every action has on those we care for and love.

Accept this, and perhaps we can really move forward.