Sorry. if you were hoping for an insight into the more intimate recesses of my nocturnal activities, you will be severely disappointed. Those are only available in the Remainders bins in not very good book shops.
No. This is a sort of sequel to the previous mind-dump, from the advantage of a view from a place of light and shade, tones and incremental shadow. Rather than the dark hole that emerged before.
Oddly enough, the silent shouting is still there, but for the most part it’s a slightly irritating thrum somewhere behind me. Crowd control by the application of my rear view.
But what I have now are, I think, the standard variegations of light and shade that make up ‘normal’ life.
And there are many shades. It may seem odd to state something that will be obvious to you, but when I emerged, again, from the singular tone of the last slump, it is always a slight surprise, and a joy, to realise there is, still, variation.
This will always be helped by the people who are closest to me, physically and spiritually. The variations within them start the spread of the rainbow, and begin the re-decoration of the world.
And if they have moments of dark, or anger, or calm, or wisdom – very interesting colour that one – these add shades and tones.
And the sky is still there – and strangely still blue and bright – and the trees, and the small interlinked elements that bind nature to the earth, or are supported by it.
And the outside world is back in focus, with every mixed blessing that brings. And life, and time, continues. There is only one direction for that at least.
And I absorb, and acknowledge, and add to the memories, and enjoy the simplicity of loving and being loved.
And the mono-shade of before is put back where it belongs.
But I am also vigilant, and aware. And will keep watch for the next one. And this time I will be more prepared. Or at least I will try to be.
And it will come. And it will go. And the variations will return. And not just grey. There is a rainbow out there!
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