It Is Okay Not To Be Okay

Not an original line, and one that has been repeated by many. But it needs to be said, and repeated, by us all.

Every time you ask someone “Are you okay?”, and they say “Yes”, but the eyes drop, then okay is hiding something. Maybe momentary, maybe a pain embedded for years. But not okay.

There are those whose daily struggle with life, with ensuring the basics keep moving forward, can be clearly seen. And visibility means that an arm, a hand, a shoulder can be offered to help.

But remember, help is an activity, not a passive wait for a request, because the request may never come. So offer the hand, the arm, the shoulder. If it is turned down, then try again, try something different, try to appreciate that your view is through your eyes, not theirs.

There is a problem, however. There are many of us who have become extremely adept at not dropping the eyes, of masking the smile look genuine, of getting the voice to go up at the end of a sentence. Of hiding the panic, the lack of control over the thoughts and distortions that strive to retain the jagged edge to life.

And those require a little more consideration, concentration, empathetic companionship. Because even the most practiced of mask-wearer leaks a loss of stability from time to time.

This is not an MI5 surveillance job, this is humanity, and empathy, and accepting that everyone has moments of crisis, and some moments are simply that. And some are moments that last for years, and rise and fall. And manifest in depths or heights of emotion. or physical shortfalls.

And some are created by those around us, and some arise from within, from a particular view, or a complete lack of focus within a fog.

But they are all aspects of the human condition. Each in a different place, at a different time on the continuum. And each deserves understanding.

So, do not turn away, either from the dropped eyes, or from the proffered hand. We each need the other. To support. For support.

But always with understanding.

I can see you all, I can hear you all.

I hope, from time to rime, you can see me too.